Becoming Better Grownups

Becoming Better Grownups (book) by Brad Montague
Becoming Better Grownups by Brad Montague

I love this book – and would love everyone to read it.

Its message – about becoming better grownups by being more childlike – is so necessary, so important – yet is communicated with such a lightness of touch.

The book is beautifully produced – like a children’s book (and I mean that as a compliment) – with board covers, and thick pages, and clear type, and colourful illustrations. It’s the perfect format – allowing the message of childlikeness to live within the pages, rather than being drowned beneath a mass of words.

Yet there are words enough to challenge, encourage, inspire and change us. I noted down many (sixty!) short quotations – here are just a couple, from near the start and end of the book:

We become more fully alive when we listen to the child within us.

Brad Montague, Becoming Better Grownups

[Children’s] unassuming honestly, open generosity, and playful curiosity brought me back to the child I once was and the grouwnup I so desperately wanted to become.

Brad Montague, Becoming Better Grownups

There is so much more to this book than I can communicate here – so the best thing I can say now is get hold of a copy and read it yourself!

Here’s the link to the book on Amazon UK (though, of course, other retailers are available!)

I do appreciate that the book is rather expensive – but if you take a look at some of the other reviews, I think you’ll see it’s well worth it. (If you can’t buy it yourself, perhaps ask for it as a present?)

I should say that I have absolutely no link with the author, Brad Montague, or interest in the book – other than it speaks so eloquently on a subject that is very close to my heart.


Senses working overtime…

Way back in 1982 the the English band XTC released the single Senses Working Overtime:

And I can see, hear, smell, touch, taste
And I’ve got one, two, three, four, five
Senses working overtime
Trying to take this all in…

Senses Working Overtime, XTC

Sad to say, this is not how I live my life most of the time! As I wrote in the Preface to my book, As a Child: God’s Call to Littleness:

I am not good at paying attention to all that is around me. I live perhaps too much of my life inside my head: so caught up in my thoughts that I miss the world outside – the world of the senses – seldom truly seeing or feeling or smelling or touching or tasting.

Preface, As a Child: God’s Call to Littleness

So, I’ve come up with a little idea which I’m hoping might help me become a bit more aware of the world around me…

Each week day I aim to focus on using one of the senses in particular:

  • Monday – sight
  • Tuesday – hearing
  • Wednesday – smell
  • Thursday – touch
  • Friday – taste

For example, today being a Wednesday I’ve made a special effort to use my sense of smell (which is very poor!) – including a wander round the garden to really smell all the flowers.

Tomorrow, I’ll aim to focus on my sense of touch – trying especially to notice rough and smooth, hard and soft, hot and cold, light and heavy, and so on…

Now of course, if there’s a glorious sunset on a Tuesday, I’m not going to ignore it just because it’s the wrong day for ‘seeing’!

And this may turn out to be another of my good intentions that comes to nothing.

But my hope is that by focusing on one sense in particular each day, I’ll have a chance of developing all of them – and in so doing become more aware of the glorious abundance and diversity of this wonderful world.

And I can see, hear, smell, touch, taste
And I’ve got one, two, three, four, five
Senses working overtime
Trying to take this all in…

Senses Working Overtime, XTC

Live on Phoenix FM!

A guest on Phoenix FM!

A few days ago I had the privilege and pleasure of joining Patrick Sherring on his Phoenix FM show, Friday Night Extra.

(You can find a recording of the show here, along with a brief summary of our chat, plus a playlist.)

Patrick had come across my poem As a Child in a blog post, and on the strength of this kindly invited me to come and chat about my book and what it means to be childlike.

Patrick also gave me the opportunity to select 3 tracks for the show, and to explain why I had chosen them – the nearest I’ll ever get to Desert Island Discs!

I have to admit to being just a tad nervous about appearing on live radio, but Patrick put me at my ease, and I felt quite relaxed whilst on air…

… It was only on my drive home that I began thinking, “What did I say?! Why did I say that?! Why didn’t I say this?! Aaagh!”

(I  wish, for example, that I’d said something about playfulness, and how play helps to foster a childlike approach to life and to faith and to God.)

Those who’ve heard the programme assure me that I have nothing to worry about – but I still can’t bring myself to listen back to the show (just yet, anyway)!

Nonetheless, I’d be very pleased if you could take some time out to listen. You can do so using the Mixcloud player below or,  better still, by following this link to the show page (complete with summary and playlist).

I hope you enjoy the my chat with Patrick and my music choices. Please do share with others and let me know what you think. Thank you!

Phoenix FM is a community radio station for Brentwood, Billericay and the surrounding areas (broadcasting on 98FM) and is also available worldwide via the Internet.


Let’s go fly a kite!

Let’s go fly a kite!

Today, I flew my kite – for the first time in far too long.

We’d driven out to Frinton-on-Sea, on the Essex coast. Behind the beach and promenade is a wide, open area of grassland known as the greensward – perfect for flying kites in the sea breeze.

My kite is an “easy flyer” – it’s very simple to get into the air and doesn’t do anything spectacular – just hangs there, dancing to the wind’s rhythms.

Nonetheless, quite a few people noticed the kite, looked to the sky and watched awhile – children, of course, but adults too. One man came up to me to chat about it.

Kite flying must be one of the most purely playful of pastimes, with no purpose other than the simple pleasure of raising the kite into the sky and keeping it there.

And it occurred to me…

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if our lives too caused others to raise their eyes heavenward, even momentarily?

Not because of anything ‘spectacular’ we’ve done, but simply through us dancing to the rhythms of the wind of the Spirit.

The photo is of my kite today. It is a Skydog 48″ Rainbow Best Flier which I bought from Kiteworld (other kite suppliers are available!) They don’t seem to stock this particular kite any more, but they do have the almost identical Skydog 48″ Tie Dye Best Flier. If you don’t have a kite that you fly already, why not find one you like the look of and give it a go?!





Playful running – parkrun

I am not a runner – but I do love parkrun!

In case you don’t know about parkrun, it is a 5km (3.1 mile) timed running event, held each week in hundreds of parks across the UK and beyond. It is entirely free to take part, and is open to runners (and, indeed, walkers) of all abilities.

Last Saturday was the 3rd birthday of my local parkrun, held in the beautiful surroundings of Raphael Park, close to the centre of Romford on the outskirts of London. One of the joys of parkrun for me is seeing the park change with the seasons each Saturday morning throughout the year.

Last week there were 314 participants, from ages 10 to 80+, with times ranging from just over 17 minutes to just under 53 minutes – and everything in between.

As these times illustrate, it really doesn’t matter whether you’re an elite runner or a slowish walker – everyone is welcome, and everyone receives encouragement from the other runners and brilliant team of volunteers (without whom no parkrun would take place).

Indeed, one of the things that I love the most about parkrun is the ‘tailwalker’ – a volunteer who stays right at the back to accompany and encourage the slowest participants. However slow you think you are, you will never be last!

Perhaps the best recommendation I can give is that I – who had not run in the 30+ years since school, and who still doesn’t run at any other time – have now clocked up 83 parkruns! If someone like me can get so enthusiastic about running, it just goes to show what a great event parkrun is!

So, having recently written about work, rest & play – and the need for a better balance in our lives – where does parkrun fit in?

Well, to be brutally honest, it certainly feels like bloomin’ hard work! And staggering around the course is hardly restful!

Yet parkrunning is ‘work’ that I choose to do, not that I am obliged to do – and, however hard I find it, that choice makes parkrun feel much less like work and much more like play. And whilst certainly not ‘rest’, participating in parkrun has one of the benefits of rest, in that it helps to restore me from the rigours of a week’s work.

True, parkrun could be more playful if I didn’t add the self-imposed ‘obligation’ to finish in the best time I can – if I were happy just to trot round slowly, chatting with the other runners and enjoying the surroundings. And perhaps I should do this once in a while.

But there’s nothing wrong with a bit of hard work – especially if we’ve chosen to do it. I enjoy the challenge of ‘completing against myself’ and against the clock (though not necessarily whilst actually running!) And I enjoy it particularly because I’m doing so not on my own, but with others who have the same love of parkrunning.

So, if you’ve never experienced this yourself, why not give it a go? Simply find your local pakrun, register online, print out your barcode – and then enjoy the run! You won’t regret it!


Thank you for reading this. Please do share with others, and let me know what you think – and especially if it encourages you to do parkrun! Thank you!


Work, Rest and Play

A Mars a day helps you work, rest and play.

Those of us of a certain age (and who grew up in the UK) will doubtless remember this advertising slogan:

A Mars a day helps you work, rest and play.

Sadly the slogan is no more, presumably consigned to history by more rigorous advertising standards.

But – it seems to me – ‘work, rest and play’ is a pretty good summary for the whole of life.

Everything we do is either work or rest or play – and a balanced life will allow a good amount of time for all three.

So, it’s instructive to consider just how much time we do give to work and rest and play.

Because I suspect that most of us are living unbalanced lives, overly dominated by work, with rest and play squeezed into the margins.

And when I say ‘work’ I don’t mean only paid (or, indeed, unpaid) employment – the increasingly  inappropriately named ‘nine-to-five’.

By ‘work’ I mean anything that we are obliged to do – or feel obliged to do – or which has some ‘goal’ or ‘purpose’ beyond the satisfaction and pleasure of the activity itself.

Put another way, ‘rest’ is when we are ‘busy doing nothing’ (to quote Bing Crosby), ‘play’ is when we a busy doing something to no purpose (see What is Play?) and ‘work’ is everything else.

Of course, few activities will be pure work or rest or play, but thinking in these terms can help us to recognise just how unbalanced our lives have become.

Please understand, I am not saying that work is a bad thing. There are many things that rightly need to be done. Work can be satisfying, enjoyable and fulfilling  But, in the long run, too much work is not good for us.

So why not take some time the look back on the past day, the past week, the past month, the past year? Just how much of your time is spent striving to fulfil some obligation or another?

Work is necessary, but who of us could honestly say that we don't need more rest and more play? Click To Tweet

Thank you for reading this. Please do share with others, and let me know what you think. Thank you!

As I understand it, what we in the UK call a Mars bar is similar to what in the US is called a Milky Way – which is not what we in the UK call a Milky Way!

Here’s a full Mars Bar advert from the 1980s:


A Playful Commute

City workers cram into crowded carriage

In my previous post (back in November!) I wrote of making work more playful. Here, at last, is an example – the daily commute.

(I realise not everyone commutes to work – or has a commute like mine – but hopefully this will still serve as a useful illustration of how to make any work more playful.)

The daily commute is about getting from A to B as quickly as possible. We need to get to work, and we want to get home. And I understand that. So do I!

But the way to make a commute just a little more playful is to make it something more than this – more than a just a hurried journey from A to B.

So, what do I mean by this?

Well, we could skip to work! I’m not suggesting that we should skip to work, or that I would skip to work (never going to happen!) But we could – and it would certain make our journey more playful!

There’s nothing to stop us – other than the utter embarrassment most of us would feel! (Imagine me – a man in my 50s – skipping through the City on my suit! Then again, perhaps don’t!)

We could skip to work! Click To Tweet

So, do I have any more sensible suggestions?

Well, if an ‘unplayful’ commute is about getting from A to B as quickly as possible, then a playful commute could involve a more circuitous route and a little more time (by design, rather than the vagaries of the transport system!)

We could, for example:

  • Make a detour from our usual bee-line. Drive down a back road or walk down a side street. See somewhere different.
  • Use an alternate form of transport, if available. Here in London we are spoilt for choice: train, tube, tram, bus, river bus – even cable car!
  • Walk or cycle, where possible – exercise, feel good, and avoid the undoubted aggravation & potential delays of ‘rush hour’.
  • Walk slowly, and give ourselves time to truly observe all that is around us.
  • Stop off along the way – to enjoy a coffee, read a book, or simply watch the world go by.

I’m not suggesting we do this every day. It’s probably not possible, and could become an obligation (and, hence, ‘work’) in itself.

But it might be good to give ourselves a bit more time, and mix things up, every now and then.

And if we can make our daily commute feel a bit more playful, then surely there’s hope for the rest of our lives?!

Thank you for reading this. Please do share with others, and let me know what you think. Thank you!

Image by Chris Brown (CC BY-SA 2.0)


How to Play?

On a swing above the cityIn my previous post I suggested that play has no purpose – and encouraged us to make all of life more playful by incorporating more things that have no purpose at all!

But, of course, the reality is that life is full of things that ‘have to be done’. I was going to enumerate some of them here – but, quite frankly, you hardly need me to remind you of all your obligations and the nagging demands on your time!

(Often these ‘obligations’ are ones that we impose on ourselves. No one is demanding that I write this blog post – and no one would care if I didn’t – but just at the moment the struggle to articulate my thoughts feels much more like work than play!)

More positively, much of what we do should have a purpose. In the words of Sir Marcus Browning, MP (comic creation of Rowan Atkinson):

Purpose is what we’re striving for. We must have purpose. We mustn’t be purposeless. We mustn’t exhibit purposnessless. We must be purposelessnessless.

It is is right that we don’t waste all the gifts we’ve been given – metaphorically burying them in the ground like the servant in Jesus’ parable of the talents – but rather use them to make a difference for good. To be the agents of change in the  world, wherever and however we can.

Nonetheless, in the words of the old saying:

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy! Click To Tweet

Indeed, more than simply dull, but dulled, diminished, reduced: less than the person we were created to be.

Yes, we need to work – to do things with a purpose, an aim, a goal – but we need to play too!

I don’t subscribe to the idea of a ‘purpose driven life’. I don’t believe our lives should be ‘driven’. We are meant to be childlike, playful people.

But how to be playful when there seems to be little enough time for work, let alone play?

Firstly, choose to take time to play. To do something for no other reason than the sheer joy and pleasure of doing so. And we do have that choice. Not all of the time; perhaps not much of the time; but certainly some of the time. It’s simply a matter of priorities – of whether we believe that play is important (HINT: Yes, it is! Very!)

Secondly, given that we spend much of our time working, make work more playful. By ‘work’ I mean, of course, more than paid (or, indeed, unpaid) employment – I mean anything we do in order to achieve something; anything we do for some reason other than the sheer joy and pleasure of doing so.

And how do we do this? By incorporating into our work elements that have no purpose;  things that are quite superfluous and unnecessary, and which play no part in the achievement of our goal – but which add a little joy and pleasure.

What might this look like in practice? I’ve got some ideas for an example – but that’s for another day!


Thank you for reading this. Please do share with others, and let me know what you think. Thank you!

Image [CC0 1.0] via Pexels


What is Play? 

Playful Stick Figure KidsWhat is Play? And what does it mean to be playful?

Much wiser heads than mine have considered and written on this subject, and I won’t pretend to have anything more than the most passing acquaintance with their conclusions.

Clearly ‘play’ is a complex and multi-faceted subject.

But, for me, there is one thing above all others that characterises play:

Play has no purpose! Click To Tweet

Obviously I’m being deliberately provocative here, but I do mean what I say: play, at its purest, does not set out to achieve anything.

The more any activity has a goal to attain, an outcome to achieve, the less like play it becomes.

For example, which is more playful: an Olympic athlete, training and striving for a medal; or a little child, running and spinning and leaping, wherever and however the mood takes them?

This is why it is so hard for our work to feel playful – because, by definition, work has a goal, whereas play does not. We ‘work towards’ something, we don’t ‘play towards’ it.

Of course, much real play does have a ‘goal’ of its own – to build a sandcastle, or complete a puzzle, or finish (and perhaps win) a game. So the distinction between work and play is primarily one of external goals – work is a means to an end, whereas play is an end in itself.

(Having said this, I do think that perhaps the purest, most playful play is play that has no goal at all, just a joy in the activity of the present moment – such as the running, spinning, leaping child mentioned above.)

For example, cooking can be playful if we are trying out new recipes, but rather less so when we just need to put food on the table.

Of course, play does have numerous benefits – but these cannot be our reason to play.

Play is its own reward. Click To Tweet

C S Lewis – author of the Narnia books, and much else besides – wrote this:

You can’t get second things by putting them first; you can get second things only by putting first things first.

This principle can be seen right across all aspects of our lives, but concerning play and playfulness it could be rewritten like this:

You can’t get the benefits of play by making these the purpose of play; you can get the benefits of play only by being playful for it’s own sake.

In other words, the more we seek the benefits of play, the less like play it becomes; and the less like play it becomes, the more we’ll miss out on the very benefits of play that we seek.

But if, on the other hand, we simply give ourselves over to playfulness, then we’ll find that in the purity of our play, we get the benefits of play ‘thrown in for free’.

So, what does this all mean in practice? I hope, perhaps, to explore this a bit further in future posts (although, judging by my previous record, this might be something of a vain hope on my part!) For now, I’ll leave us with two simple takeaways:

When we make time to play, let us just play! Click To Tweet

Let us make all of life more playful, by incorporating more things that have no purpose at all! Click To Tweet

Thank you for reading this. Please do share with others, and let me know your thoughts. Thank you!

My thoughts about play and playfulness have been revived and refocused by Ben Ross (The Flying Racoon) and his 100 Days of Play. Do take a look. 

Image [CC0 1.0] via


Talk: God’s Call to Littleness

In January I had the honour of speaking at Emmanuel church, Billericay, on God’s Call to Littleness.

If you’d like to, you can listen to my talk here.

Thank you for your interest!